What if the Titles of Some Books Were Rewritten to Get More Attention?

The Upworthy  is  famous for titles of their materials, which are usually long and very attention-grabbing, not just being a style “different”, but rather having an effect on the visits received by the website and share their stories.

And The Millions people  decided to play a game with the titles of some books in the article “ Please read me! Book titles rewritten to get more clicks (free translation), rewriting them Upworthy style, to see what some books and their covers would look like if the names already provided a brief idea or summary of what readers have ahead.

I put below the covers that The Millions made with the “new” titles for some books:

Stephenie Meyer’s ” Twilight ” would be “Shyest Boy in School Got It When He Said ‘You’re Exactly My Heroin Shot’.”

“ Pride an Prejudice ” by Jane Austen would be “He Didn’t Want to Dance With Her When They Met. Now He Wants – A Lot.”.

“ Oliver Twist ”, by Charles Dickens, would be “See The Boy Who Broke In Tears When He Was Refused More Porridge”.

“ Moby Dick ”, by Herman Melville, would be “They Told You It Was Impossible to Hunt White Whales. And Then He Literally Goes Crazy.”

“ Lord of the Flies ”, by William Golding, would be “Did You Think Generation Y Bad? See These English Children Demonstrating Chaos Theory in Practice.”.

“ Lolita ”, by Vladimir Nabokov, would be “A Guy With Two First Names Proves ‘Nymphet’ Is The Grossest Word In English.”.

” Little Women ” by Louisa May Alcott would be “You’ll Never Guess Which Of The Four Sisters The Attractive Young Neighbor Ended Up Marrying.”

“ Jane Eyre ” by Charlotte Brontë would be “He Didn’t Tell His New Housekeeper About His Ex-Wife Locked In The Attic. What Happened Next Burned Him Really.”.


“ The Hobbit ”, by JRR Tolkien, would be “See How Complicated This Guy’s Journey Becomes When He Lets A Group Of Dwarfs Plan It”.

“ Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Peter ”, by JK Rowling, would be “The Most Powerful Dark Wizard In The World Tried To Kill Him When He Was A Baby. On Page 4305 You’ll Find Out Why.”.

” The Great Gatsby, ” by F. Scott Fitzgerald, would be “We Thought We Could Proceed Against the Current Without Being Dragged Incessantly into the Past.”

“ Dorian Gray’s Picture ”, by Oscar Wilde, would be “Do You Know All That Time You’ve Been Looking For The Secret Of Eternal Youth? This Guy With A Really Ugly Picture In His Attic Maybe He’s Discovered It.”.

Dostoevsky’s ” Crime and Punishment ” would be “Here’s a Strange Trick To Get Rid of Rent Payment Once and for All.”


” The Catcher in the Rye ” by JD Salinger, would “He paid For A Prostitute, But Even So The Pimp Him punched. What an ass.”

If you have ideas for catchy names (sincere, sensationalist, as you like) for other books or suggestions for better translations for the ones I posted here, leave them in the comments.

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